Todays score - 12%

(Had houseguests, no time to self, I think the low score is mostly this and it should pop up again when rested.)

A few weeks ago, my counsellor set me a challenge which I flunked. Paul kindly quoted “Fail better next time” which I really liked. Two sessions on and she set me a challenge again, slightly smaller, designed to step-stone me to the bigger one in a few months. I have flunked again.  

I will see her next week and I’ve decided that I have hit a wall with this. I need to discuss with her what that means, because I have no desire whatsoever to meet the challenge. No interest, no passion for it, I cannot push myself on here when I only see that it would cost me. I know she is trying to lift me into new ground and prevent stagnation, but this time…I can’t. I don’t have it and I can’t give it. Where that leads I have no idea. The feeling of failure is strong. And my heels have dug in.

So, for now, I will keep finding wins in smaller ways. And that will be enough. I’ve hit a wall and I’ll just need to graffiti a mural.

Love from 

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member