(Today’s score - 37%)

How strong is your ability to say no?  

I have learned that I have no qualification in saying no and that is damaging to mental health, to go through life moulding around others.

Today I asked my son if he needed a hand with something I thought was bothering him. He simply said “I’ve got a plan, but thanks for the offer”.  In other words ”No”.  I found myself about to interject, as my mother does with me, impressing on me that my way is wrong and her way is right. And I stopped myself. He has it covered. He has a plan. Let him run with it. I didn’t feel bad that he said no, I felt good knowing he had it covered and that he can say no to me. He is comfortable saying it.

As a fully grown, life-experienced human, I’m uncomfortable saying no even when everything inside is screaming it. It feels loaded with guilt, shame, weight and history, but it’s a very healthy word so why would I deny myself that? This feels important and I’m sure many of you reading are nodding because it is familiar.

I said no to counselling this week. Not because I’m not keen to go, or because I failed the previous challenge, but because it doesn’t fit right now and I’d overload myself to attend. It was good for me to say no. And the next appointment is made for January. I said no and the world is still turning.

Ask yourself if any internal wrangling is about your ability to say no. What would you need to feel ok about saying no? There could be gold down there.

Love from 

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member