Today’s score – 32%

In a counselling session recently, the counsellor asked me what I could do just for me which would grow a spark. I have a list of little picture books written over the years, in various states of readiness, and I said I could pick them up and start playing with them again. She said that was too big a step and she encouraged me to do nothing with them. But to go up to the room where I write and just have a cup of tea there. Make friends with that room and the idea of writing there. She encouraged me not to get side tracked into a to-do list, or to look at the jobs queuing. But just to have the tea and think about the books.

First visit - I sat, drank tea and left.

Second visit - I looked at the stuff to do, felt overwhelm and had to leave.

Third visit - I had some work to do but, before I did it, something came over me and I pulled up three little books (there are only four which are in the proper format) and scooted off a quick email to a publisher accepting unsolicited submissions.

I’ve been here before. I’ve had some “no thanks” and one really lovely rejection letter but the submission wasn’t the point. It was the allowing myself to accrue a little joy focussed around something just for me, that was the point. To negate the sludge that is flooding around me on a daily basis. I can’t control most of that sludge (its wider family) but I can invest a little in my own meter.

At this week’s session, she smiled a big smile, she celebrated with me, and for me. Because she had listened to me, and then I had listened to her, and together something small made a small shift.  And that is enough. I know there will be another hurdle especially soon and she drew me out a diagram to show me how I might influence my feelings when that arrives.

And guess what? My score this week has stretched for the sky. Something worked.

Love from 

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member