I’ve never thought of myself as being particularly short – but at scraping 5’1” on a good day, I am definitely less than average height. My friend Liz is 5’11” but doesn’t see herself as tall because both her mother and her aunt top six feet.

It’s only when we see ourselves in photographs that the truth really takes hold. I look like a child beside Liz – or she looks like a giantess beside me. When we share a hug, she has to stoop down and then I notice the height difference, but mostly, she is just my good friend Liz.

I think the world does react to us differently when we are larger/smaller than average. Because I am little and blonde, I used to feel that I wasn’t taken seriously. It’s one of the reasons I have always been happy to wear spectacles, as I think they make me look intelligent and therefore worthy of being taken seriously. Liz feels that her height and build make her seem unfeminine – there’s no chance that anyone is going to see her as a fragile flower in need of protecting from life’s storms. Not that anyone wants that these days, but it might be nice to have a chance.

It's not just height but every aspect of our physical appearance that we make up stories about. And, by we, I mean the world as well as ourselves. Blondes have more fun; brunettes are more sultry. Tall men are more successful – something which is sadly, statistically true – short men can be arrogant and pompous. Fat people are slovenly and lazy; thin people live on their nerves.

But we mostly don’t have that much control over our appearance. We cannot change our ethnicity; we can’t change our height; dyes and bleaches only go so far in changing our colouring. Diet and exercise may change our weight and muscle tone, but it can never make an ectomorph out of an endomorph. And we can hold back the years for as long as possible, but we can’t change our age.

The world makes up stories about us based on our physicality and we make up stories too. But how many of these stories are true and how many are self-fulfilling prophesies?

Both my daughters are about the same height as me. My elder daughter has brown hair and a classically beautiful face with cheekbones you could use to slice cheese. My second daughter is blonde, with a softly pretty face and a wide smile. Both are popular but I notice people react differently to them. My elder daughter, they always take seriously, but my younger daughter gets teased – good naturedly – but still teased. She hates it because she wants to be taken seriously too.

What stories do you feel you have told yourself about your physicality? How does the world see you? Are the stories true or does the world inflict those stories on you?

Mary

A Moodscope member