I am sharing something about myself I rarely tell others online, in a blog or in real life.

For most of my life I have kept part of me secret and hidden but very rarely a sarcastic and judgmental side escapes and I do not know who is more surprised, me or the person I have verbally ridiculed and/or upset.

Obviously, I take responsibility for this part of me but all the forensic type of examination fails to find out why it happens.

I read this advice and wonder if anyone finds it helpful: Aggressive people usually speak with hurtful words. Rather than being saddened by their painful words, realise that words may not hurt you. There is a  choice about how you react. Letting their angry words  affect you personally only makes you feel worse and does not help them feel better either.

There is a lot of planning implied here. Whereas responding to someone’s angry or provocative words can be very spontaneous,

I am hoping that others will be brave and share if they have had a similar experience and we can help each other. I am risking leaving myself exposed and vulnerable if no one else can relate to this.

When I was unmedicated I could blame my outbursts on my mania or depression. Now I have no excuse. To be fair, several, several times in the last decade I have really regretted what I have said and wished I could turn back time and say nothing.

My dilemma is, when I usually smile and ignore hurtful things people say to me, it builds up and so one day someone will say something very mild, and I respond in a manner that is not deserved.

If you can help me in any way even if you cannot relate to what I say, I would really appreciate it. How would you advise to make sure the sarcastic me never escapes again?

Leah 

A Moodscope member