I hate to brag, but my family of origin is rather discombobulated. I believe some of my mental health issues are richly derived from the dysfunction I come from... where there are estrangements and disentanglements galore. You almost need to pack pepper spray for the family reunion.

When my younger and only brother detached from me a few years ago over a very silly misunderstanding I hardly flinched. Not because I did not care but because a part of me ruefully said: “Ah, family tradition." I went on with my life and a few years went by without contact be tween myself and Vinn.

He reached out to me a few months ago and told me how he had missed me, describing how awful things are going for him in our very religious hometown. I remember how an independent thinker was most unwelcome in the regimented community. It is a good place to be from - not in - although it taught me to appreciate structure and order.

I thought my heart had gone cold toward him in a survival tactic. But when I heard him crying in all the helplessness and distress he felt I was moved to help him move out of there.

The 12 hour move from northern Alberta to the Southern border has not happened yet but it is planned for the coming springtime.

I live in a village that made world news when the Covid protests blocked entry and exit from Canada to the United states for 2 weeks. Ironically it is a peaceful oasis of 225 people surrounded by farms and ranches. My wish is that it becomes a home for him also.

A 13 year age gap put me in the role of one of his caregivers when he was an infant. Things are going well between us, we send cards and small gifts by mail when the postal workers are not on strike.

With all my heart I hope this is true reconciliation, I cannot take any more toxic dynamics. Growing older and approaching senior-hood has me craving peace and love. 

Bailey

A Moodscope member