Recently I have had some disturbing  incidents resulting in me losing sleep and waking worried and unrefreshed. The incidents were not ‘serious’ just irritating. My responses to them gave me no ‘satisfaction’ or closure. I wonder how you have responded when you have encountered similar incidents in your own lives….what advice can you offer to avoid making the same mistakes next time. Because there will be next times. 

A few weeks ago I struggled crossing the river and clambering up the rocks to my Motability scooter. It was hot. I was tired out and I was hurting all over. Two people I didn’t know were sitting on the bench beside my scooter. 

He said:  ‘You did very well just then. Not long now before you can ditch those walking sticks’ 

My response: ‘You have no idea how validated your comment makes me. I can die happy now, knowing you approve of my efforts. And no. I’m like this because of brain surgery a decade ago. This is as good as it gets’

He said ‘Oh. Mental. Explains a lot’

Feeling furious, that silly exchange kept me awake all night. 

A man, who the last time I had seen him had not recognised me, stopped me as I went down to the beach with Celyn. He put his hand on my shoulder and said ‘Hello! How are you doing? I see you down on the beach, and I shake my head. You could have such an accident.’ He patted my shoulder ‘ You should not be going down there at all, you are just not safe. Stop taking your dog to the beach.’ 

Feebly I said ‘I have emergency contact numbers on my phone…..’

He said, pressing my shoulder harder ‘ Ah….but what if your phone breaks, eh? Then what? You just be careful, right!’

I said, also feebly, ‘Oh be careful! What had I not thought of that?’

Some people say this unwanted attention from the second man was him ‘just being friendly,’ but I think it was actual assault as it was not invited. 

Some others say the first man was also ‘just being friendly’ but I think he was being unnecessarily intrusive and arrogant and seeking to ‘rescue’ me when he had no idea of the problem. 

As a Motability scooter user this intrusive behaviour – often from men but sometimes from women  - can be quite intimidating. A blog I wrote ages ago dealt with it more fully….being told to ‘lose some weight, darling, and you won’t need the scooter’ and several people have, by putting hands on my shoulders, knees and hands, made me feel really vulnerable. 

Back then, I had Jane. Now it is just me. Coming home to an empty house, shaken by quite intrusive encounters, doesn’t enhance my feelings of security. And so, dear Moodscopers, I am asking for your help. 

What  can I say to keep my power and not give it again to these intrusive people?

CMM

A Moodscope member