There’s a phrase going around. It’s all over social media. I don’t think I’ve seen it before but this year - it seems to be popping up everywhere.

NOvember - the power of saying NO this month.

People’s take on it varies but the theme is the same:

‘Let’s say No to all of the situations, habits and people who waste our time and drain our energy.’

‘’November:  Say No to what drains you. Say Yes to what feels good. Protect your energy.’

‘This November let ‘No’ be a pathway to protecting your peace and focusing on what truly matters to you.’

‘NOvember - a time to say NO to people, places and things that use up your energy.’

It’s a simple message. A little gimmicky, a tad twee but it’s clear.

I get it. I like it. I sent it to a friend of mine via instagram. (Yes I am now on insta thanks to my daughter! I swore I wouldn’t like it but it turns out… I do. It’s positive, it’s fun and I have seen zero of the toxicity that invaded X).

My friend liked NOvember too. She and I are, like many of us here on Moodscope, people pleasers. We say Yes. A lot.

Which is fine. If it’s done with a good heart. But… honestly, I often say yes but my insides are screaming ‘Noooooooo’ !

So… I am practicing NOvember. 

How’s it going? Well it’s hard to break a habit of a lifetime. 

I have started with a ‘pause’. 

Do you want to meet up on Friday night with a group of mum friends and have dinner? Pause. Do I really fancy another night being the only sober one, listening to tales of expensive house renovations and naughty, untidy husbands? Pause…

That’s a start isn't it? Pause. Take a breath. Consider saying ‘No but thank you so much for inviting me.’ Another deep breath. 

Of course saying No isn’t always the right way to go. There can be regrets. There is often FOMO. 

I am always fascinated with the tales of famous actors who said No to parts in movies and then later regretted it. 

Kevin Costner was offered the part of Andy in The Shawshank Redemption but he said no because he wanted to work on Waterworld. Tim Robbins got the part instead.

Michelle Pfeiffer said no to the part of Clarice in The Silence of The Lambs (too dark, too much gore were among her reasons) and Jodie Foster played the part instead. 

And a famous no was Tom Selleck who had to choose between the TV show Magnum P.I. or taking the part as Indiana Jones. He said no to Indiana and Harrison Ford, as we know, said a big yes. 

So… yes and no, swings and roundabouts? Here’s a Question: Is ‘No’ really just a fancier and far more polite way of saying ‘F off’?

If so, I am giving the last word to the wonderfully straight-talking Helen Mirren:

‘At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words ‘F off’ much more frequently.’

Happy NO-vember to all Moodscopers

Salt Water Mum x

A Moodscope member