Today’s score – 38%

As I wrote this there was not one decoration or fairy light up in my house. As you read this I hope my house will look like Christmas decoration elves threw up across the downstairs.

This year I have opted out of hosting the big Christmas day that I’ve done for decades (only missing one). I have been renovating a flat for one of my daughters which has taken up every moment of free time. That felt like a good enough reason to say, “I will have no energy left for big hosting”. The guilt of putting me and my children first has been strong, but talking through guilt in counselling and accepting my limits has helped. And I feel good now for the decision.

Something came to me and I hope I have the courage to let it unfold. I woke up a few days ago and thought “if the wheels come off this Christmas, it’s ok”.  I’ve previously crossed every single ‘t’ and dotted every single ‘i’.  No more.  It’s hard to move away from that place but it’s time. I need to throw my hands up in the air, let things unfold at the speed they do, and accept that I can’t carry everybody and everything anymore. I can do better than that.

I wonder if you might have a chance to do something similar. Find peace with letting the wheels come off for the sake of your sanity. I’ll happily take some company here. And now I’m off to find the lights…

Love from 

The nearly fairy lit room above the garage

A Moodscope member