In the hospital where Dad is rehabilitating there is a poster called, “Living with Dementia.”  (Credit on Poster: CereScan.com/Conditions/Alzheimers) I thought these would make good “Rules for Life” for all of us but ‘rules’ is a bit strong as a word– hence the title, “In Principle.” 

Here, then, are the redacted Principles. Let’s see if you agree and then I’d ask you to add to them from your own wisdom, experience and principles.

1 Agree, never argue. This reminds me of the Improv first principle of “Yes, And…”  To agree with what others say and then build from there. In addition, I’ve noticed over this week the tendency of people to finish sentences for others – which, on the receiving end, I find to be disempowering (and rather irritating!)

2 Divert, never reason. How fascinating this would be as a whole-life principle! How many people break rapport by trying to reason others over to their point of view. How much better to divert the flow. How many arguments would that stop?

3 Distract, never shame. Shame is one of the most powerful toxins known and used by humans. Instead: if there is shame, distract and divert. Nobody needs more guilt.

4 Repeat, never say, “I told you.” Guilty! How many times have I said the variant, “You’ve told me that already!” Not cool. Let’s not fuss over repeating ourselves, nor over having other people repeat content to us. It’s about grace, not about a race… a conversation not a destination.

5 Encourage, never condescend.

6 Reinforce, never force.

There are more, but I thought those would be more than enough to get us chatting. There is a gentleness and grace here I really like.

And now to your comments, anecdotes and additional principles…

Lex

A Moodscope member