We heard about it as it happened. A little group of us gathered around our manager. “Eight people have been stabbed on Huntingdon Station!”

“Eight people? No, surely that must be an exaggeration. Even one person would be horrifying and would make the local news in large headlines.”

“No, not on the station itself but on the train up from Stevenage.”

“Well, anything can happen in Stevenage, of course. But still, eight people? No, ten people you say?”

“It wasn’t the train up from Stevenage, but the one down from Peterborough.”

“But that makes it worse, because Peterborough is only half an hour away. Peterborough is far too close.”

We went home at close of shift to find the news was full of nothing else. Yes, the stabbing attack was horrendous. Thank goodness nobody died.

The man who wielded the knife must be mentally ill. He is not a terrorist, so there is no other explanation.

How far can mental illness be blamed for our actions? At what point can we say that a person loses control of those actions? If they do lose control, are they still responsible?

Few of us are dealing with multiple stabbings, but many of us have committed actions under the influence of our mental health condition that we would not have committed while well. 

With bipolar disorder, it tends to be our actions while we are in the grip of mania – and I use the word grip on purpose. While in mania, I have had huge and drastic clear outs of my possessions, and those of my family. I once threw away my children’s Red Books – the record of their vaccinations. These books are vital when a child starts school and are useful even into adult life. Thank goodness our doctors’ surgery keeps good records and could let us know what vaccinations they had received.

I have lost friends because of my mania. One such friend had the courage to say, “I’m sorry, but you’re just not a nice person when you’re like this, and I can’t cope with you.” Fortunately I have some faithful friends who have seen me through many episodes of mania and depression.

I am not in control when I am in mania. Fortunately, I am never violent. One man of my acquaintance, while in mania, recently knocked his elderly mother down. When he is well again, I’m sure he will show remorse, but for now it was all her fault for getting in his way. Is he responsible for his actions?

I think, yes, we are responsible. Even if our judgement is haywire because of our condition, we are responsible and must own it and take the consequences. Our mental health can never be an excuse.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Are there levels of responsibility? If we are not in control then who is to blame, if indeed, there is any blame at all?

Mary

A Moodscope member