We travelled back from Swansea to Cambridgeshire on Sunday in heavy rain. Visibility was poor, and the wipers were going at double time. The traffic slowed to fifty and even twenty in some places as we all gave due respect to the rain. I couldn’t even see the white lines on the road and had to blindly follow, at a sensible distance, the tail-lights of the car in front. What should have been a four-hour journey took five and a half. But we got back safely, which was the main thing.

Sometimes all we can do is follow the path set out for us because there is no other option. I qualified as a chartered accountant and spent the next fifteen years unhappy in accountancy because I felt there was nothing else I could do. When forced out of that profession I took the first post that offered, again because I thought I had no other option. It was only when the opportunity came up to become an image consultant that I stepped out and followed my own path.

My brother is a farmer, just like our father, our uncles, grandparents and great-grandparents all the way back to the 1400s. He didn’t follow though, he chose. He was given every opportunity to choose something else but has only ever wanted to farm. He will be the last generation, however, since his son has little interest in following his father’s footsteps.

Where are the other instances where we follow the advice and suggestions given to us by others, and where do we forge our own path? These days, we normally choose our own life partner rather than accept our parents’ choice. Perhaps they would choose more wisely for us - my first marriage was definitely a mistake, which everyone else could plainly see. I couldn’t. I didn’t follow advice and paid for it.

What about careers? Do we go into a career we’re encouraged to or go against suggestions from others and go our own way. My younger daughter is considering becoming a social worker, despite everyone telling her how it’s a thankless career that will burn her out before she’s forty. Still, someone must do it – and at least it is only one of the paths she’s looking at.

What about the clothes we wear? Do we follow fashion, choose comfort over style, or do we spend the time and energy exploring our own look? Now that I no longer work as an image consultant, I very often settle for the second option. I often regret it but have little occasion these days to wear any of the beautiful clothes hanging in the wardrobe.

Do we eat what we’re told to do or follow our own desires – and I’m not talking about chocolate here? I’m told to reduce the amount of animal fat in my diet because of my cholesterol levels, but I’m not giving up butter for anyone!

Where have you followed and where have you gone your own way, and would you do it again?

Mary

A Moodscope member