Those Moodscopers of a certain age may get the reference. No matter if you don’t. 

Over this last month or so I have had several lovely people come to stay. And their input really energised me which made my daily scores rocket. Finally, after looking at dates and so on, I can see patterns in my scores which coincide with those visits. 

I get worked up and agitated preparing for the visit – no transport; can only use the local (very good) village shop – and then the visit – scores rack downwards as anxiety over everything from the weather to breakfast foods and how well have I cleaned my house, induce increasing terror… then the scores rocket up; as I am bubbling with excitement and joi de vivre. Then they leave. And slump. Down plummet the scores. From 86% to 19% overnight; and down still further to 7% a day later.

I’ve finally clicked it is an adrenalin rush and that when it ends my mood plummets. 

Why has it taken me so long to work this out? 

One visit has been by the infamous brother and sister in law; known as The Chocolate Teapots – because they are as useless as that. They are known to be rather grasping and totally without compassion. He said ‘I like what you’ve done with the place; it feels lighter and airier and much less cluttered… I didn’t really like it before’ My reply ‘Thanks; I assume you mean that now I have removed most of Jane from the house, you like it more?’ Answer came there none. 

Another visit was by my sister who suffered a severe stroke last year. She was fearful at being in a new place, but we had a great time together; we did a lot of crying and a lot of laughing. It was good fun. 

Knowing I would feel ‘down’ following the visit by my sister, I gave myself time to enjoy things and so the score the following day was nowhere near as drastic a plummet as it has been in the very recent past. 

I think it is true that we each of us need to know ourselves Very Well Indeed if we are to keep on a mostly balanced position on the scores. And I am positive that being aware of how events will both over stimulate and will ultimately also drain us, allows us some leeway around the potential slumps letting us prepare ourselves with a little forethought and foreknowledge. 

My sister was here for the 2nd September; marking 10 months since Jane died. Having her here really helped. I did not slump. I stayed balanced and positive. And we were able to talk about her and move on. 

My sister in law and her husband were here; she noticed that the anniversary of Jane’s death is soon and without giving it further thought, offered to come here for the entire anniversary weekend. 

Moodscopers, I cried. 

And once again, I am alone. 

CMM

A Moodscope member