Some years ago, when I was in a bad state of depression, I saw a therapist who, pretty quickly, observed that one source of my depression was that I had lost a lot of my pleasures in life due to physical issues. I was in my 50s and had (and still have) mobility issues which were unlikely to improve much, and prevented me from enjoying mountain trekking, racquet sports, canoeing and suchlike, and a poor immune system which severely limited my scope for travelling.

Her diagnosis was, I am sure, correct, but her suggestions of how to address these issues were, frankly, rather naïve: one suggestion was to drive or take lifts to the top of mountains and enjoy the view; another was to watch sports I could no longer play. Anyone who has enjoyed the exhalation of a high-intensity sport or who know the wonderful sensation of getting to the top of a mountain after hours of ascent will know that these are very, very poor substitutes, more likely to depress me further by focussing my mind on what I can’t do; it was, however, true that I need to find some sort of alternatives to my old interests, especially after I went part-time then retired.

I’ve often heard the phrase “empty nest syndrome” to describe mothers feeling depressed after their children have left home, but maybe there’s a more generic “empty diary syndrome” that lots more people suffer from?

The good news is that I have succeeded in finding some good substitutes for some of the things I can no longer do: travelling around India or deepest Africa may be out, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised how much of real interest I’ve found closer to home in Britain, Ireland and the near continent; canoeing may be beyond me now, but canal boating isn’t; I won’t be going for a wild week’s live jazz in New Orleans, but Sunday lunchtime at Ronnie Scott’s is pretty good, and maybe I’ll get to the North Sea Jazz festival in Holland one year? As long as I can avoid the “comparison trap” by enjoying what I’m actually doing rather than worrying about what I’d rather be doing in an ideal life, I feel grounds for optimism.

Do any of you feel that part of your problems with depression have roots in physical issues limiting what you can do? And what is your experience of finding good substitutes/alternatives?

Oldie But Goldie

A Moodscope member